Some excerpts from spEak You’re bRanes:
“And don’t forget, if you really want to get the best out of your terrorists, pinch them out to encourage bushing. Once they begin to flower, start feeding them with a formulated terrorist-feed. If you water them frequently and keep them free from slugs, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t continue to enjoy homegrown terrorists until September.”
“Awww. If I’d known there was an Anti-Establishment Proletariat Pseudo-Marxists and Anarchists rally I’d have gone down. As it was I ended up at a Crypto-Communist Envirofacist Morris Dancing Festival. Heavy police presence as usual. BURN DOWN BABYLON.”
Go have a poke through, very amusing.
Recently I was pondering what it would take to make a lobster costume. Essentially, a case of ‘if I was a furry and I decided I was a lobster…’ I’d make a carapace and tail using a 44 gallon drum (the main floatation devices used by contenstants on Scrapheap Challenge) as a mould, creating it out of fibreglass and painting it appropriately. How hard could it be? The drum would be about long enough for the main carapace part, the tail would be segmented as per an actual lobster, the feelers would be moulded around some fishing rod poles (just the bare poles, no hardware attached.. ever made your own rod? You know what I mean), and the claws would be an arrangement of levers and servos. Simple. The only difficulty would be finding a surgeon to reverse my knees… they’d need to be reversed in order to make the tail work. Once that’s overcome, a few little air tanks installed the main carapace would be all it’d take to go for a dip. It could be excellent…
Also amusing for anyone who’s worked in IT support is this… get right to the end.
I reckon I’m one of the few people in this world who has a (little) subwoofer and leaves it turned down almost as far as it can go. Unless my downstairs nieghbours are playing their shite music at times when I’m not trying to sleep and I want to drown them out. Then it comes up a little from the stopper. Fuckers..
Still going to sell my car. It’s occasionally useful.. but cash is more useful. Also, I feel a return to cheap, povvo motoring coming on. I was watching the Top Gear Botswana special again yesterday, there was a time when I nearly bought myself a Lancia Beta Coupe. Maybe I should have, I coulda gone anywhere… as long as I had a mechanic and a film crew following me. I think it may have been brown though… I’ll not own any car that’s Korean, (no offence, I’ve met some loverly Koreans and their food, TVs, monitors and.. most other things that Samsung do apart from mobile phones are great, but… not cars yet. Although, the Samsung cars are just Renaults with a different badge, so they’re actually the pick.. where was I?..) brown, or a Holden. Not that I’m a Ford fan, but at least the other models are German, rather than rebadged Daewoos. Sports Volvos ftmfw.
Bulls run faster uphill than they do downhill because of the bone structure of their legs.
So if you find yourself in Pamplona, you know what to do. Dig a hole.