I’ve finally gotten around to updating thie place! Back and front, looks much shinier now. Gorgeous! Now alls I need to do is update it more often…
Jul 31 2008
Ok, so it’s been a while… but you get that. Right? Right? …
Things that have happened lately.. I finally got off my arse and did an exam that I’d been ‘studying’ for for a while, passed it sufficiently. The problem with studying from courseware that’s intended to be accompanied by a person talking is that there’s no one to tell you what to believe when the book contradicts itself, makes no sense or just outright lies at you. And it’s bleedin’ boring. Still, with some practice questions and help from an appropriately knowledged up oracle, it was adequately passed. And subsequently forgotten, as most of it is irrelevant for the current version of the software anyway. The fun of learning something that’s out of date. Still, it’s an easier exam than the current one, so I’m not complaining!
Me mate was in town last weekend, we went and saw the rugby that was on. Great game, we outplayed them and won. I won’t go into why, because most.. if not all.. of you aren’t interested. Or already know. Still, even though I was nauseus to the point of thinking I was gonna chunder earlier in the day, it was an enjoyable night out.
I’ve finally got the papers sorted for my car, all that remains is to head into the RTA office and swap the plates about. There will be times when not having it are inconvenient, but the three and a half odd grand I’m not spending a year on it will be more convenient. And I like it.. I’d rather it was being driven.
Onto more meaningful things. If you wish to pass some time and fondly recall times playing old school adventure games, or wish to know why some people fondly recall playing old school adventure games, check out Ben There, Dan That. It’s a little point and click adventure littered with in jokes and references to things you may recognise, and it also contains dinosaurs. From the site:
Written by and somewhat-narcissistically starring heroes Dan Marshall and Ben Ward, it’s bursting with bold cartoon graphics, laugh-out-loud dialogue, colourful characters, some frames of animation and nearly 100 different sound effects! There’s no need for hand-eye coordination or split-second reflexes here; it’s a fun game that anyone can play as long as they don’t mind a few naughty words here and there and the odd dabble of mild racism.
It’s fun, amusing and a pleasent way to spend an evening. Give it a go, it’s free! And then if you appreciate it, donate to the struggling developers! Get that warm, moist feeling in your pants that can only come from helping out those less fortunate than you. It’s not their fault that they’re poms, but at least we can try to make it easier for them.
Next on the agenda are some tweaky bits for Windows XP. Wonderfully timely I know, but these may be useful for some of you. They’re all from the Powertoys page, so they’ll be old news for some but there may be people for whom this is useful. There are three that I’m currently using, and I’m going to miss all of them when I eventually can afford to bin this boat anchor masquerading as a PC and get something worthwhile. They are:
Tweak UI: “This PowerToy gives you access to system settings that are not exposed in the Windows XP default user interface, including mouse settings, Explorer settings, taskbar settings, and more.” Essentially, you get more options to make little changes to your PC that can be handy. Things like removing the little arrow from shotcuts. Or trimming the crap from the New (file) submenu. Some very nice little things that add up to a much nicer XPerience. (Yes, that’s truely why XP is called XP)
Open Command Window Here: “This PowerToy adds an “Open Command Window Here” context menu option on file system folders, giving you a quick way to open a command window (cmd.exe) pointing at the selected folder.” This one isn’t of much use to normal users, but for those who will find it useful… well, it does what it says on the tin. Something that should be there already, frankly.
Image Resizer: “This PowerToy enables you to resize one or many image files with a right-click.” Read that again. How brilliantly handy would that have been back in the days of dial-up? No more tooling about with photoshop to debiggen a picture for someone. It works excellently, it’s super fast, and it just lives in the right-click space on picture files. Definately useful for everyone, if someone has ever broken your e-mail my sending massive pictures tell them to get it and install it. No more excuses!
Unfortunately… these are only for XP. There are image resizers for Vista, I’ve not tried one (and lost the one that Blake found for me) and I’ve no idea what they’re like but if they’re modelled after the powertoy there.. brilliant. I’ve no idea why these little things weren’t tooled into Vista, they’re stupendously handy and add basic functionality to the OS to make living with it so much nicer. Give em a crack!
Ninety-eight per cent of all life forms to exist on Earth are now extint.
I guess if you think about it then… we’re not so bad after all!
Jul 17 2008
Welcome to the official trailer for the reinvention of Apogee. You may remember them from such classics as Commander Keen, Rise of the Triad, and of course Duke Nukem. You, my reader, may remember that before Duke Nukem 3D came out in 1996 there were two 2D Duke Nukem games. They were good, I enjoyed them thoroughly. Recently, those that be have announced that Apogee as a brand is back (they have existed in the public eye as 3D Realms since the late 90s) and as a major release to wow the world, they’ve announced some new Duke Nukem games for the DS! Wow! Remember how awesome they were damn near fifteen years ago? This’ll be brilliant! Once this takes off, we may even have some new Commander Keen games! How brilliant will that be?! Never mind that they’ve been ‘making’ a new Duke Nukem game since 1997. Duke Nukem Forever (possibly a pisstake title?) has been ‘in development’ for ELEVEN YEARS. I could make a game in that long, and I’m useless with anything like that. Still, this new Duke Nukem title must be being created by different people who have nothing to do with the team who have obviously been hard at work for ELEVEN YEARS cranking out… well, apparently some people have seen it running. Nothing official worth noting though. Still, the new trilogy (it’s traditional.. games from fifteen years ago came in episodes….) has a trailer! Check it out!
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING THAT BAD EVER IN YOUR LIFE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT BATMAN! ‘Scuse me if not adding a break has ruined how astoundingly bad that was, but if you’ve read to here and haven’t watch at least the first 30 seconds of it, please just watch it that far. There are no words for how amateur it is. There are vids on youtube made by mentally challenged pygmy lemmings (no offence meant) that are far better than that. People with no limbs could create something approaching Cannes brilliance compared to that. My scalp has exuded… well, you get the picture. The voice clips, the fonts, the circular ‘OMFG RADIATION’ logo, images of Duke.. probably all the rest of the assets.. are from Duke Nuken 3D (or previous Duke Nukem games)bumph. From, at the latest, 1996. In videogame terms… well, lets say that Noah wouldn’t have bothered allowing that onto the ark. And then there’s the total rubbishness of how all the assets were used. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was an official video shown at E3, I’d have written it off as a pisstake. In fact.. a pisstake couldn’t have been that bad. It would have been written off as a mentally challenged limbless pygmy lemming who is a fan of the original Duke Nukem 3D wanting to make a case for it appearing on XBLA (there’s a rumour that that may happen.. it was fun back in the day.. may be worth a shot again) and failing miserably. There is no stating how bad that video is. I cannot imagine someone stepping back and thinking ‘Yea, I’ve created something that’ll really make people want to purchase this brilliance. This oughta generate massive interest in this title.’ Good god I hope anyone who had anything to do with the creation and approval process of that thing has been fired. From a cannon. Into a very very solid wall. And then incinerated for good measure. I’m just… there’s not words… yea. You get me.
On the plus side, we’re getting a new Wolfenstein game. Mmm.
Jul 13 2008
See if you can spot the part that they probably wouldn’t be able to do nowadays without someone shrieking. Not the paint…
Jul 11 2008
I am putting this here because it amused me.